generaljanuary: (amours imaginaires: nico)
[personal profile] generaljanuary
Media: Fic
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine
Title: Smell the Roses
Author: [livejournal.com profile] fanny_moon
Rating: R to be safe
Spoilers: Up to and including Silly Love Song
Warnings: Healthy teenage boy fantasies and implied masturbation. Oh my.
Word Count:a little over 1100
Summary: Believe it or not, Kurt has, through some painful and embarassing missteps, learned patience- to some extent at least.




Believe it or not, Kurt has, through some painful and embarassing missteps, learned patience- to some extent at least. He's learned to take what he can get and be glad for it.

So, friends it is, then. On a scale of boyfriends to fiasco, friends is pretty great, actually and Kurt wouldn't be Kurt if he was used to getting exactly what he wants- doesn't mean he can't try his hardest to get it, though! Just... it doesn't have to feel like a fight, a constant battle, anymore. Now that the truth is out there, floating in the space in between them, tangible in its fragility, he doesn't feel so winded anymore.

Winded from trying to run fast enough, climb high enough, to reach Blaine. The steep hill's been reduced to rubbles beneath their feet and once the dust settles, they'll be standing on equal grounds, as friends. For now.

Because, yes, Kurt has learned some patience and to be grateful for what he can get but he's also... so starved, still. And he's got a gentle boy looking straight into his eyes, saying he cares so, so much, saying he doesn't want to screw this up. If Blaine's eyes had been shying away, if his body language had shown discomfort, Kurt would have cut his losses, cried a little, later, all by himself. Then, he would have washed his face with icy cold water and wiped his mind clear of the bitterness of yet another rejection, of the fact that most of the good things in his life only exist in his head. He would have taken Blaine's friendship and embraced it in the healthiest way he could and yes, he would have been glad for it. For what he'd salvaged. Period.

But Blaine, true to the nature of their relationship since the very start, had been heart-breakingly open and honest and so, so earnest in his cluelessness. Just a little bit tortured and a whole lot adorable and Kurt had felt a strange calm bloom slowly in his chest, warm and almost dizzying. A certitude of sorts.

There wasn't going to be an ­"Old Navy Intervention" or a "Starbucks Seduction". It was just going to be him and Blaine climbing a new hill together, at the same pace.

And if there were more coffee non-dates and maybe-flirty duets along the way, then Kurt was delighted, because he got to keep his friend and he got to keep his hope. He got to stop running after something he felt he could never really reach, to take a leisurely stroll instead and heck, if the scenery happened to be wearing skin-tight jeans, Kurt was more than happy to take his time and admire it. Smell the roses and all that.

What he hadn't expected, though, was for his attraction to grow. Blaine hadn't changed the way he styled his hair, didn't bulk up in the gym or started wearing different clothes. He was still good old friendly Blaine with his uniform and smile and eyebrows and strong shoulders and- wow, Kurt needed to stop that train of thought right there. It was Kurt's awareness of Blaine that had changed. While in the past Kurt had been attracted to models in magazines, to Finn Hudson's dopey charm and even to Sam Evans simply because he looked like a possibility, he was now no longer simply mesmerized by Blaine's physicality; his attraction had, for the first time, reached new dimensions, gained new layers. The other boy's honnesty had sprouted new fantasies in Kurt's mind.

He used to dream about Blaine whispering low and slow in his ear "Kurt, it's okay. You're beautiful." All encompassing, almost overwhelming with his experience and take-charge attitude. Now, he laid awake at night and imagined things differently. Because Blaine didn't know what he was doing. He'd never been anyone's boyfriend. At first, Kurt conjured up images of himself shoving Blaine up against a wall, bending down a little to breath hot and heavy into his neck because- yes! He was a little taller than no-longer-larger-than-life-Blaine and he had no idea why that was suddenly such a turn on for him. But beyond the new and exciting idea that he could get to be the instigator for once in his life, laid the much more satisfying possibilities of equality and reciprocation. So his fantasies slowly morphed. He pictured them trapped in a small space, maybe a closet, both of them unable to keep their hands off of each other. Exploring at the same pace. Experiencing the same wonder at the new contact and intimacy. Blaine's voice shaky as his lips brushed against Kurt's skin, rasping out: "You're so hot, Kurt". Not pretty or beautiful. Kurt imagines both of them so turned on by the other that they lose control.

And it's good. It's the best. Because he's alone and panting on his bed and he can hear the sound of Blaine's laughter in his head. Because that's what they're good at, as friends. They're honest, they know how to make the other feel good about himself. They make each other laugh. His fantasies feel achievable, so right, like they could happen anytime. Like they were just below the surface of reality and he and Blaine just had to lift a veil and they would seamlessly come true. He wonders if Blaine has them too. And that right there is enough to keep him busy for a good long while.

So yeah. Kurt can't help but to feel like his heart is about to vibrate right out of his chest when he's standing close to his best friend, but it feels so good. That joyous anxiety; getting to know another person by heart, getting as much as he gives, everyday, watching these enormous feelings between them grow and grow. It's warm and comfortable, and Kurt basks in it.

One day they will definetely lift that veil together; sometimes they're silent and they look at each other and the knowlegde just hangs comfortably between the two of them, ensconced in between knowing smiles. In the mean time, Kurt is patient and he enjoys every minute of what he's got because he knows someone is going to catch him, and his own arms are wide open and welcoming.


Date: 2011-02-10 05:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] after-2am.livejournal.com
This is awesome:D
I love how everyone in this comm is so on the same page with the way things are turning out between these two
:D

Date: 2011-02-10 06:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fanny-moon.livejournal.com
It's because TPTB are doing it ~right~! :D Thaks for reading.

Date: 2011-02-10 05:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agent_bandit.livejournal.com
Oh my god that was perfect! I loved it absolutely!!

Date: 2011-02-10 06:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fanny-moon.livejournal.com
Thank you so much, glad you did. :)

Date: 2011-02-10 05:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] baka-sensei.livejournal.com
This is beautiful. I love the way you write, it's so lyrical. Like this line: Now that the truth is out there, floating in the space in between them, tangible in its fragility, he doesn't feel so winded aymore.

Also, my heart panged at the bit about all the good things in Kurt's life being in his head. And then it swelled at the bit about how he's hopeful, how they're climbing a hill together and he doesn't feel like he's chasing after someone he can never catch.

I just loved everything about this. Such a great analysis of the episode. Thank you for sharing!

Date: 2011-02-10 06:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fanny-moon.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it and took the time to point out which parts especially. :)

Date: 2011-02-10 05:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] titacats.livejournal.com
♥________________♥

Date: 2011-02-10 06:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fanny-moon.livejournal.com
Exactly my face when I see them on my screen, bb. Thanks for reading! <3

Date: 2011-02-10 06:11 am (UTC)
sotto_voce: Joshua Chamberlain staring into the distance, with caption "brains are sexy" ([bones] SQUEE!)
From: [personal profile] sotto_voce
This is so, so lovely; it's exactly what I'm hoping Kurt was thinking and where the relationship is going. I am smiling like an idiot right now.

P.S. - A little thing I noticed -- there's actually only one 'n' in 'honest'!

Date: 2011-02-10 06:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fanny-moon.livejournal.com
So glad I could make you smile! Thank you for reading and for pointing out my mistake! My English is getting a little rusty I guess ;)

Date: 2011-02-10 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cassiopeia-says.livejournal.com
God, this fic was... beautiful. Really, I loved the way you write the situation.

Date: 2011-02-10 06:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fanny-moon.livejournal.com
Aw, thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Date: 2011-02-10 06:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cacell.livejournal.com
This was awesome :D I'm very much in love with all the terrific writers this comm has <33333

Date: 2011-02-10 07:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fanny-moon.livejournal.com
Thanks! Me too and the artists too! *nudges you* <3

Date: 2011-02-10 07:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cacell.livejournal.com
Awww <3333

Date: 2011-02-10 07:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sarinmorphine.livejournal.com
Thank you. My friend, though I know she doesn't mean it, is being frustratingly heternormative right now and insisting Kurtofsky should happen because Blaine is too much like Kurt and isn't "manly" enough - like Kurt is a girl or something and just... *sigh* okay let me stop ranting and bask in the Klaineliness of this fic and a few others and I'll be good in a few minutes.

Date: 2011-02-10 07:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fanny-moon.livejournal.com
Oh, don't worry I get it. :) Hope it helped! Fanfics rarely fail to pick me up.

Date: 2011-02-10 07:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_kiwee_/
Love, love the way Kurt stop painting a perfect picture of Blaine and started being...not more realistic per se, but to except the real thing in a relationship. I adore the way Kurt is slowly falling in love with Blaine, instead of it being an infatuation.

Date: 2011-02-10 07:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fanny-moon.livejournal.com
Thank you for reading! I'm really glad you liked it!
(deleted comment)

Date: 2011-02-12 05:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fanny-moon.livejournal.com
I was out to write something sweet and the hot just kind of sneaked in. Haha. Thanks for reading.

Date: 2011-02-10 12:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] naisscence.livejournal.com
OHAI DER! :DD~
Are you going to be my queer mama and influence me to Ghey-ify Glee?
Whelp. You just did,yo. *ep search*

Honestly love, you STILL got the edge, even better - like whoa :
...And he's got a gentle boy looking straight into his eyes, saying he cares so, so much, saying he doesn't want to screw this up."
It's a complete 'Dawww, oh honeyyy~ *faghag cuddles Kurt*

I read established (*snort*) m/m authors/ebooks aplenty over the recent years and honestly sweet, I found myself so very tired of the sex scenes and would just scan through.. I am that jaded. T_T So you are forever surprising on how you pulled me through that what - PG17 fantasy scene.. and I hung on every single LETTER.. and I am so refreshed now. And no ones poking out anyones eye out with jizz yet but anywhooo~

I so freaking miss your hurt/comfort + fluff writing sweet!
I think I'm gonna hop over to your FF.net again. Natsukashii naaa~

<3 *chu~

Date: 2011-02-12 04:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fanny-moon.livejournal.com
WHY, HELLO YOUUUUUU~!!! :D

Oh, bb Glee's plenty gay all on its own, muhaha!

Your comment makes me so glad. Such a lovely suprise! Oh you make me blush, you. I don't write so much anymore, it's harder than it used to be, somehow. Happy to know I've still got it, or whatever. haha.

Whenever I'm about to write something a little risqué I think about you. XD I know we had a discussion about it once and I try to see if what I'm about to write would gain your seal of approval hahaha.

m/m ebooks make me go -_-. It's hit or miss and for me it misses most of the time.

fuuuuuu~ please stay away from my FF.net, lol I'm so embarassed when I think about those stories. ­>.>

Thanks for being by, bb! You make me smile and laugh so much, you have no idea. <3<3<3<3<3 *squishes you*

Date: 2011-02-10 02:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nerdyandromeda.livejournal.com
Guhn.

This was so exquisitely written!! I love how understanding Kurt is. This is beautiful :)

"He used to dream about Blaine whispering low and slow in his ear "Kurt, it's okay. You're beautiful."" I love this line.

Date: 2011-02-12 04:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fanny-moon.livejournal.com
Aw, thank you, I'm glad you liked it.

Date: 2011-02-10 07:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonlitsiren.livejournal.com
Oh, this is just lovely~ Thanks for writing!

Date: 2011-02-12 04:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fanny-moon.livejournal.com
Thank YOU for reading and commenting! <3

Date: 2011-02-12 01:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ennisjack.livejournal.com
Wow. I can't believe how perfectly you've captured the feelings behind that calm, happy smile Kurt gives in the coffee shop after Blaine explains his thoughts on their relationship. You really understand him.

Date: 2011-02-12 04:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fanny-moon.livejournal.com
Aaw thank you. Well I sure hope that's how he feels. Kurt/Happiness all the way. <3

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