Mais...

Feb. 8th, 2009 01:03 am
generaljanuary: (keep on smilin)
Mais je serai toujours la pour aller te chercher ta bouteille d'absinthe quand tu auras besoin de "vomir ta vie" parce que "les gars c'est tous des salauds". Et oui, je t'avais dit qu'il avait une face de crosseur, mais non, je n'ai pas toujours raison. Ne laisse pas une autre blessure te priver du bonheur que tu merites. *gros calin*
generaljanuary: (organic coast)
Les cicatrices que tu portes
Et celles que tu a causées
Les flammes que tu as éteintes
Et celles que tu as allumées
Tes yeux qui ont vu trop de splendeurs essoufflées
Et la longévité éreintante
D'une existence accidentelle
Drapée malgré elle de beauté,
Celle que tu n'as jamais su reconnaître,

Cachent un coeur que tout a blessé
generaljanuary: (Default)
soucis noirs sur mon ame
l'image s'etouffe et s'estompe
la clarte soudaine, un chemin
mes yeux epuise epris de la paleur
du matin qui trouve ton sourire
sur mon oreiller blanc

The melancholy's been stuck in my throat all day, refusing to let me breath or let me go.

It snowed today. Almost all day. It was only melting snow, so it won't stay. (thank god, it's only October after all) They say this winter is going to be as bad as last year, when we broke all records with a scary 500+ centimeters of accumulated snow. My forecast for the upcoming winter? A lot of helping maman shovel snow around her tiny parking space and countless city buses dropping me off in the middle of impromptu snow mounds. Last year, it was terrible. Everytime it snowed, people became more and more apalled, where are we going to put it? There was literally no more space. The city had to find and buy more vacant lots. When you walked in the suburbs, you couldn't see the houses, they were all buried in snow. If you called for delivery pizza, you had to go wait ouside for it because they couldn't see the adress plates. Mailmen were pulling their hair out and I'm not talking about ambulances. A guy even put his snow on sale on eBay. He got rid of it and donated the money to charity.
I guess every one goes a little crazy in the winter here in Quebec city. :)
generaljanuary: (Default)
I wrote a poem. It's in french. I like it. Sebastien likes it too. Or so he said. I'm not putting it behind a cut. Because I am ev0l. And it's my own damn journal.  The title translates to "Seashell" and it's a sad little thing about not being yourself.

Coquillage


Le visage brisé à moitié à découvert

Habitat cimenté de l’absence

Fissuré, irréparable

 

Une prière de papier

Vole sous les cils scellés

Jamais vu une telle
Imperméabilité

À l’intérieur

Plus rien a protéger

 

Septembre soupire et le torrent tressaille

Les mains froides, les nerfs éteints

Sous la peau

Y a-t-il encore quelqu’un?

 

L’écho de soi-même

Sur un pan de bitume imperturbable

La traduction de la mémoire

En un craquement passif

La destruction lente et inévitable

Ne dérange personne

  
Fannie D.
12`08`08

generaljanuary: (Default)
Just back from the marching band practice. and my pwetty Elhija Wood replica is still as cute as ever I hadn't went since the benefit concert. I think they were glad to see me. =D

Gah. If my fangirl life was made into a movie it'd probably be titled
"Not another ship" I guess I'm just not a OTP fangirl. Just when I think I'll finally get bored with fanfictions because I've read all the fanfictions about my current favourite ship's I could find... I find another ship... (Or I resort to original fics eh ^^;) Shoot me.

Ooh. The last rehearsal for the play was this afternoon. I think I did okay. I was never the kind of person that gets anxious about plays and oral presentations. As weird as it may sound coming from someone with my issues, I love to be on a scene, to show off in front of people. My head is such a mess hee. tch.

I miss you Steshi-chan. Has Uni already started?

Chris Martin's voice does strange things to me. *melts* I was afraid that I was over Coldplay but this morning I was just gonna read Kizuna (OMG!!! they brought Kizuna here in Quebec from France!! KIZUNA! F*CKING KIZUNA!!! *dies of yaoi overload*) in bed and get up late to go to school, you know, just be lazy and a bit depressed... but 'Speed of Sound' came on the radio and instantly Kizuna was forgotten and I got up and got ready with a huge smile on my face. Placebo makes me happy. But... but Coldplay... Coldplay makes me *happy* when consumed in small dose. *sigh* what would our world be without music *shakes head*

My mother keeps calling when I'm not home but we haven't received her answer yet and I don't know if I want to talk to her or not. I think that I'll just keep not answering her calls but if she calls while I'm here I'll answer the phone... Why me? I used to love her so much. She was such a source of inspiration. But now... now I can't help but to see her as weak. I see in her everything that I could become but absolutely don't want to become.

Je t'aime encore, maman... J'aurais juste voulu que tu aies le courage de le trouver, ton bonheur.
generaljanuary: (Default)
bleh... *takes her English, folds it and put in in her pocket*

Ma soeur est déménagée aujourd'hui. Ironique que pendant toute ma vie j'ai été eutourée de tant de choses et de gens la rendant si agréable. Ironique que quelqu'un quelque part croit qu'il soit bien que je me départisse de tous ces réconforts en quelques mois. D'abord ma mère et maintenant ma soeur. Je suis à présent la seule présence féminine dans la maison. Étrange. Il y a moins d'un an maman, Laurie et moi étions encore 'Les Femmes de la Maison', un fait que papa semblait trouver plutot intimidant. Désormains nous ne sommes que tous les deux, lui et moi. Deux etres portant le meme nom, paratageant le meme sang. Lorsqu'on est seulement deux, est-il encore question d'une famille? Pourquoi ne suis-je plus capable de partager mes chagrins avec les gens qui m'entourent? Suis-je anormale comme semblait le prétendre Jessy en Virginie? Peut-etre suis-je simplement incapable de ressentir la coupure , la cassure qui me sépare de maman et celle qui me separe à présent de ma grande soeur car quoiqu'elles soient toutes deux parties elle sont toujours assez près de moi pour que je puisse les rejoindres efficacement très rapidement en cas de besoin. Peut-etre que finalement je suis moi aussi une Étrangère de Camus. Si ces tristesses me touchent si peu c'est peut-etre que je les invente de toute pièce pour me faire croire à ma propre humanité? J'espère que maintenant que son départ est officiel les choses ne seront pas toujours aussi tendue entre mon père et moi comme elles l'étaient aujourd'hui... Enfin... c'était peut-etre parce qu'il n'avait pas dormi de la nuit ^^;;;. Quoi que j'en dise, il est impossible de nier le fait que je pense à toi tous les jours, maman. Que je n'arrive plus a voir ton visage dans ma tete. Que je n'arrive plus a entendre ta voix dans ma tete. Tu me manque mais je n'ai pas envie de te voir. Pourquoi de tels sentiments existent-ils? Je me suis surprise plusieurs fois ces jours-ci à désespérément regretter etre la cadette plutot que l'ainée. Laurie est assez vieille pour se dissocier de tout ce qui ce passe dans la famille que nous formions. Laurie n'a pas eu à ne pas inviter sa mère à son bal de graduation. Laurie n'a pas eue à vivre seule les moments les plus difficiles avec son père. Laurie n'a pas eu à craindre qu'on lui arrache sa maison. Laurie a pu s'en échapper. Elle a tout fuit un peu lachement, relayant ces lourds fardeau émotionnels à sa petite soeur qui n'y voyait déja plus très clair sans tous ces ajouts à ces habituels tracas. Mais je ne peux absolument pas l'en blamer. Connaissant ma propre nature lache (que je crois sans honte etre un héritage de maman',je peux affirmer avec certitude que j'airais fait la meme chose.

*Takes her English out of her pocket and unfolds it*

Sometimes it feels really good to write in French. Even if I now practically dream in English, French still flows more naturally from my mouth. Words put together still make much more sense in French. The way I write in French is much more literal. The words are more meaningful somehow. But I like to express my emotions in English. Since it's a 'foreing' language I feel like even if I speak deep hidden truths, if they are pronounced in English, it feels as if they were still deep and hidden. They still feel secret. I'm weird, haven't you noticed yet?
generaljanuary: (Default)
Am I the only person who think that street lights changing in the middle of the night when there is no one to watch is poetic?

Spent an hour writting a post about Mickael yesterday night but my computer went nutters and crashed thus erasing it. It's better this way. I mean, how much can you write in your LJ before you become a pathetic needy open book.

Why am I so fucking scared of people?

I want Zoolander slash!XD

Gotta get my hands on my English scrapbook. All my crap school poetry is in it (including the infamous gay boy one!!XD). I'd like to post it here. It's crap but I like it. I like crap. Probably why I'm still working at McDon'tgothere.

Et, just parce que ça fait vraiment trop longtemps que ne n'ai pas taper en français, un peu de pratique!! ^^;; Je devrais vraiment me mettre a traduire mes foutus fanfics. Bordel que chuis conne. Paresseuse et conne. Je devrais pas faire tant de choses en meme temps. Surtout quand je sais très bien que je suis incapable de mener un projet à terme correctement. Oooh... je pourrais traduire 'L'Incompris'.

rough translation of a french poem of mine...Here goes:


Read more... )

It is very weird in english...O.o

The other day, my mother called me Gary. (Gary=French jerk lover-boy, retired mailman who stole her away from us with his fancy words and sharp political opinions and money ) She always had a hard time with names she'd usually list 'em all until she got the right one. I was often 'Laurie-Richard-Sissi(dog)-Bibi(cat)-Fannie'. I never minded 'Laurie-Richar-Sissi-Bibi'. Somehow 'Gary-Fannie' made me feel the urge to slap her. But then we were on the phone so hey what could I do?

*sigh*

Love meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I'm so fucking patethic.

Feel like drawing. Or writting that sorta NC-17 zoolander slash idea. mmh... slash. Slash should be a ice cream flavour. The senseless 'I WANNA LICK YOU YAOI-KUN' written on the first page of my agenda would make much much much more sense.

I'll stop now. because i have to stop or else i'll spend all night typing non senses.

adkvnaio0nhaionbai0nbipENFI0GER HJQOGNJ20CV9QGJ IPSJmci0qehm 0ve;qlch g1io0ehy01gieg1cp9vj,djf890c7rj,fkvm90rcfi,jlrnmjioemucv90wr,jédfiouvjicaàb.0t,k8chm0cv89,cjpfbjkzsoprueifj,klcvi;diaxèqwer8-0,

Bonne Nuit à tous ceux que j'aime.
generaljanuary: (Lick)
Title: À La Claire Fontaine
Fandom: Harry Potter
Disclaimer: Rowling's , Not Mine.
Rating:G erh... K...
Genre: Romance, fluff, a tiny winy bit of angst.
Summary:Set in MPPW-era. Mid-fifth year, the boys are not animagi yet. The morning after a bad full moon, Sirius and Remus have a talk. Fluffy things happen. Pre-slash Sirius/Remus. Think two teenage boys. Think awkward. Very awkward. Unsure, hesitant, unresolved sexual tension.

Read more... )


Mmmh... Can't figure out how I actually figured out all these HTML... Anyway. I guess it feels like the end is kinda rushed but I did mean for it to end this abruptly from the beginning, although I do agree the end needs to be revised. It feels good to have finally finished a fic, though. ^^= I'll probably put it up on FF.Net tomorrow. For now.... Oyasumi Nasai!

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