generaljanuary: (sw+dw)

I've re-watched some early Supernatural season 4 this morning and I want to hate Sam so much. I understand his motivations, but why the lies. You break my heart, Sammy. What redeems him in my opinion (and I find it curious because I consciously adhere to no religion), is his earnest faith in angels and God. How excited and happy he is to learn of their actual, proved existence. He is thrilled at the idea that the angels are coming to help them. 

I hate when they give horoscopes on the radio. Actually I hate listening to the radio.  /random

I chose a new layout earlier this week, I was getting tired of the old one and found it too dark. Nothing fancy, but it might only be temporary. Also I need to find a new mood theme. *is still lj-stupid after 5 years*

Also, I need to start looking for a new job. The tip to paying off debts and saving money is... to actually earn some. (actually the only incentive I have right now to get a job is that I'll need money in september to buy Supernatural season 5 when it comes out on DVD. Yes, I know that's pretty sad.) Actually, I want to pay off my credit card and save at least 1000$ before I apply for university.  *hums "Dream On" by Depêche Mode*
After nearly 7 years of slaving away at a job I always hated, I did deserve a little time off, no? My friends and family's answer to that seems to be...  NO. haha.

RL is hard. *sigh*


If only a million sigh could turn into a tornado
And sweep away my troubles
...
A million and one.

Have a nice day everyone, I hope the sun is shining wherever you are. If not, grab your umbrella and make your own sunshine. :)

EDIT: I found a cool animated SPN mood theme! It's made by [livejournal.com profile] lidi and you can find it HERE
generaljanuary: (cant make it)
So urgh. It seems that speaking about health in my last post triggered it to come and bite back. I was pretty sick there for a couple of days, it was awful, couldn't keep anything down. I even had to miss some work because of it which was incredibly complicated and frustrating it seems.

Me: *Calling my boss at 8 am after a terrible bout of being sick*
Boss: Restaurant McCrappiestjobever, how may I help you?
Me: Urgh. Hi it's Fannie.
Boss: Hi! How are you doing, Fannie?
Me: Not so good, I was wondering if there was anyone who could take over my shift tonight, Im feeling prett--uurgh. i'llcallyoubackokbye uuurgh---
::Ten minutes later::
Me:*Calling my boss at 8:10 am after another terrible bout of being sick*
Boss: Restaurant McIdontgiveadamn, how may I help you?
Me: Hi it's Fannie again.
Boss: Hey there! How are you doing?
Me: ... Well actually I'm pretty sick.I was wondering if there was anyone available to take over my shift.
Boss: Oh sure you got some pen and paper? I'll give you some numbers.
Me: ... *kneeling in the bathroom, stares at toilet dumbfoundedly*
Boss: You ready?

So I actually had to place the calls myself ( being sick a couple of times in the meanwhile). 1st person is in school, I leave a message on her voicemail. Second person is in school as well, she doesn't have voicemail. Third and last person is an angel sent from above and he says yes. so I call back my boss to tell her so, everything is fine and go back to sleep, holding a plastic bucket.
9:30 am: 1st person calls back omg so sorry can't take your shift S'okay honey someone else took it. *is violently sick and goes back to sleep with bucket-kun*
10:15 am: Third person sends me a text message forgot i had an apointment 2nite any1 else can take ur shift? am in school call me at noon wtf you moron!?!? *falls asleep on the bathroom floor*
11:00 am: 2nd person calls back, I explain situation oh so sorry can't blah blah K thnx bye uuuurgh
12:15 pm: Third person calls back so anyone available Why can't you just leave me alone!! I just want to be sick in peace please, let me be sick in peace *bawls* (it seems his apointment wasn't all that important after all *eyeroll*)
13:30 pm: assistant manager calls(she actually takes care of another floor, the whole staff works at two different places) what's going on? 3rd person called me this morning about your shift why didn't call me *whinewhine* first of all, because it's got nothing to do with you, it's not me working on your floor tonight, you would have seen that if you had looked at your schedule which is right next to the phone, by the way and I made that quite clear with third person, I don't know why he called you, but I arranged everything with Boss this morning. Second of all, oh, I don't know, maybe because I've been too busy BEING F*CKING SICK ALL OVER THE PLACE.

At that point I decided it might be a good idea to turn off my cellphone since I didn't want third person to change his mind a second time or for, oh, I don't know, the whole staff to start calling me while I'm barfing my head off.

I was completely miserable. I'm glad I only had one shift on those couple of days I was sick, seeing as I would have rather quit my job than having to live through that bleeding circus for four days.

I'm all better now, thanks to some peace and quiet. *snorts*
generaljanuary: (Default)
 I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. My future, mostly. It just seem like I've jumped the gun in this whole life thing. Failure to launch and all that. I used to blame it on my depression but that's getting pretty old seeing as I've been off medication for six months.  (Unsupervisedly, but still.) It was just too easy. "No I don't have any plan about my job / going back to school / getting my own place because I never planned on living past 20"  Well guess what, I'm 20 and a half (sounds like a 4 year old) and I'm still there, and not planning on going anywhere. So I better get back into gear or else my future is not going to go anywhere either. 

Mostly, it's the good old fears. 
You won't get a new job because you're stupid / fat / incompetant
You won't get back in school, they'd never want someone who dropped out twice
No ones is ever going to love you because you are ugly and damaged

When they come to the front of my mind, they are mostly fleeting. I can take comfort in other thoughts. 
You have a stunning experience of the work market and you are loyal and motivated. 
You are cultivated and opinionated, you have dreams and goals.
You can always count on your friends and family they will never desert you. 

And if all fails i can always take out Kiki the blood-hungry yo-yo. It does  help with focusing and calming erratic thoughts. :)

Each day should be a new oportunity. 

Right?


generaljanuary: (cant make it)
Well since summer is the time of the year when it's acceptable to post more than once a day (what? I just made that up? no I didn't! Everyone knows that! duh...) aaand, since it's actually my first day back on internet, I'll indulge in some life catching up. (god knows I like talking about myself *eyeroll*)

Thankfully, there's not much heavy duty catching up to do at all... I guess first layer would be school, job, love life. And you might as well throw three successive massive bricks onto my head.

Still out of school. Hating myself everyday about it, but hey! I'm young, I'm intelligent and more motivated than ever! *fake smile* Nah, it's true, I AM motivated. My goal is to subscribe for the January session at St-Lawrence. (and my goal when I was 5 years old was to be Celine Dion when I grew up)...moving on...

Still working my crappy hateful job at McDonald's. Well now, at least there's a little improvement there, I did get a promotion about a year ago. I am now what we call a "Chef de Quart" (no idea what's the english equivalent) No, no. You are right. Even in another language it doesn't sound prestigious. That's because it really isn't. It still sucks, but I least now I get to boss spotty fifteen year olds around while earning twice their salary. (which I don't do all that much, really, I admit I'm a big ol' softie and they like me to bits these cute kids I work with *nuzzles them*) And well, to add insult to injury, I'll be celebrating my fifth anniversary at the service of the evil clown of capitalist doom in less than two months. Funny how my bosses consider it an achievement, while the rest of the world snickers and takes bets on wether I'll spend that rest of my life working there. (please, lord, nooo, nooo *bawls*) I know, I know, if you ain't willing to change it, don't whine about it. But... *shrugs* what else is lj for, eh ?

Lastly, but not least, my love life. You could lie on the ground and watch the grass grow and it would be more interesting than me talking about my (lack of) love life so there.

And to top it all of I'm still being a perfectly good daddy's girl. The perfect image of the fat dork living in the basement of her parents' lol. I say it with a smile, not bitterly. It's what bothers me less about all of the above, so heh.

What else is new under the Fannie sun...

Oh, that's right, Let me introduce you to my lovely basementmate(O_o) Mister Seba-Kun. Events happen and tumble and voila! I have a lovely new shiny friend, who lives in a bedroom right next to mine (We shared my big bedroom for about a year before that, mhe. Twas fun. And no, he isn't the fashion tip kinda gay so I can't get annoyed at him for telling me how to wear a dress :3)So yeah basically he's my rock. *blush*

Well I guess I could talk about the panic attacks and the crying fits. And the doctor and the pills and the ugly, ugly D word. The disease. I guess I could talk about how it feels to be told you are mentally ill. But really , that's all behind, now. What I really feel like talking about is my ROCKING ROCK STAR GODSON! He is TEH awesome. He's a baby! He just turned one! He speaks about 10 words! He runs around and play hide and seek and fetch! He is every colour in the world. He makes me so f*cking hopeful, you know? Funny thing is, I never like children. Especially babies. But he makes me want to make the world a better place, that lad. Well, he IS my sister's son, after all. <3

So yeah, basically it's like what the new profile says, it's about coming back stronger , it's about learning from your mistakes, it's about fighting your way out of that cocoon and becoming beautiful, better.

*sigh*

Apr. 5th, 2006 12:17 am
generaljanuary: (hissy fit)
Life as a full-time McDonald's cook and cashier sucks. Even though I'm a team leader. Still no internet but I think it might come back soon. (as in before the end of the summer u_u;; ) I miss all of you and hope I won't come back to cold shoulders when I do my great internet come back (har har)
I still get pretty down every few days. Being a drop-out sucks. Especially when you're trying to go back to school.

wtf?!?

Jan. 19th, 2006 12:28 pm
generaljanuary: (not in the mood)
One of my closeted gay co-worker has been outed by a female superior at a meeting. The same superior who filed a complaint for sexual harrassment to my other openly/obviously gay co-worker (wtf, woman?!? he's gay!). The same one who keeps making tasteless jokes about my other lesbian/confused co-worker. The same who said "I don't mind fags, as long as they don't throw it in my face." . I need to punch someone like right now. Like really bad. Like beat this cunt into a bloody pulp. How the fuck did she know? Ya hear me, Seba-kun? You hold her while I have a go at it, yeah?
generaljanuary: (not in the mood)
I basically had a very, very VERY shitty day at work. I served over 200 McBastards in the span of 6 hours while feeling like I was about to pass out. I don't like complaining at work because all the girls do it and it's annoying. ("Ooooh! my feet hurt so much!" "I'm on my period my tummy is killing me!" "I'm like soooooo hungover." ) and yeah anyway I've already had my fair share of attention at work. (Like that time I had a panic attack because I had forgotten my uniform home the day of the inspection/evaluation.) *sigh* anyway, I survived! *cheers* Please, please, please. For the sake of me, I know it's hard, but next time you go to McDo or anywhere else really, take a moment to actually *look* at the people serving you. They are human beings as well. They're smiling but inside they're dying to be anywhere alse doing anything else. Maybe they're sick. Maybe their boyfriend broke up with them the day before. Maybe their parents just annouced that they were getting divorce.

I went shopping Friday night with Seba-kun )

yay for the 6 userpics for free accounts! \^_^/
generaljanuary: (not in the mood)
I'm feeling very blah nowadays. grr... I guess I should be perfectly "KYAA!" and "HANNIAANH!" but I'm just blah all around.
I get these dizzziness spell... everytime I do something for more than 10 minutes... and I sleep all the time but I'm always so tired. Couldn't complete my shift at the McCrappitycrap on Sunday. They had to send me home and i felt really bad about it. I hate to feel particularly useless... *suuuuulks*

*blinku*

Sep. 25th, 2005 10:18 pm
generaljanuary: (Default)
Now, now! Guess who was chosen Employee of the Month? =D
Now, now! Guess who is going to get a promotion and a better salary? =D

Suddenly working my lovely butt off at McWorthshit doesn't seem so worthless anymore. *grins* Plus I've got this new gay co-worker who was so upset the other day about not liking his new hair color. He's an adorable sweetheart. And that other obviously staright co-worker guy and his more and more obvious obssession with my butt. Woah!!!???O_o ... anyway n_n;;

German is killing my brain *brain melts*
Mein Katze ist schwartz
Ein zwei drei vier funf sechs
Die Freudin//Die Freudinen
Scheint die Sonne?
Bist du blau?
Der Himmel ist blau!
*brain melts some more*

Spanish is altogether pretty easy.
Mi padre es un hombre muy encantador!
Me gustan los gatos.
Baila usted bien o mal?
Tengo sueno despuede de la clase de espanol de la senora Morissette.
La capital de México es la ciudad de México.
ochenta y cinco mas veinte es ciento veinte
*sigh*

I so love that I get to discuss Achilles and Patroclus' relationship as an essay topic in my Artistic and Literary Currents class XD

The Fall of the House of Usher= Sirius' family, anyone?

The Mars Volta's singer's legs' are still MINE!

I watched NGE ep. 24 and didn't cry! That's a first...
...
...
Kaworu-kuuuuuun!! TT_TT *sniffles*

What a nice glimpse at my dispatched mind ^^^^;;;

Hey You

Jun. 16th, 2005 10:45 am
generaljanuary: (Default)
Mmh Mmh Mmh....
Been working a lot lately. Which is both good and bad.

Good becaude prom is one paycheck away and my bank balance always reaches zero in between two paychecks and I still have so many things to buy.
Necklace. Bracelet or flowers. Sandals. Alcohol. Hair job. and if I can manage maybe I could buy something for dad on father's day. (yeah go ahead, say it, I'm a horrible daughter. -.-;)

But it's also bad because... well because work sucks ^^;;; I mean the percentage grease/hair gets alarming when I get home and let's be honnest here, McFuck is the possible worst job ever. So why the hell have you been working there for two years? you ask. Because I'm too lazy to be bothered to find something else. So yeah, this is self-imposed misery so I shall stop whining right about now.

Mars Landing Party is a jewel, but seriously, I can't listen to it anytime and anywhere I want unlike most Placebo fans. My dad speaks nothing but french so of course " Embrasse-moi, met ton doigt dans mon cul,une présence ambigue, une présince inconnu jusqu'à ce que j'en peux plus" has got him going: O_O . Imagine. "Kiss me, put your finger up my ass, an ambiguous presence, an unknown presence, until I can take no more" Wouldn't YOUR parents/friends/surrounding go O_O ? ^^;; anyway, my dad's weird so he was like: "Music nowadays is most interesting..." XD dad you're priceless.

Yay! I'm currently typing my Jack Fairy short story! So it really should be up by *next* week because my English teacher needed threats to get bothered to find it >.< It's not that good but still, my first piece of Velvet Goldmine Fanfiction.

Lol... I watched 'Wilde'with Jessy boy on Tuesday. twas funny. He was all
"When does Jude Law come along? Do we get to see his ass? OMG that old pervert is into young guys. Did he actully sleep with his wife? eew!"

no body here knows *who* is Oscar Wilde so I couldn't expect any better coming from dear jessy. ^^;;
generaljanuary: (Default)
Am I the only person who think that street lights changing in the middle of the night when there is no one to watch is poetic?

Spent an hour writting a post about Mickael yesterday night but my computer went nutters and crashed thus erasing it. It's better this way. I mean, how much can you write in your LJ before you become a pathetic needy open book.

Why am I so fucking scared of people?

I want Zoolander slash!XD

Gotta get my hands on my English scrapbook. All my crap school poetry is in it (including the infamous gay boy one!!XD). I'd like to post it here. It's crap but I like it. I like crap. Probably why I'm still working at McDon'tgothere.

Et, just parce que ça fait vraiment trop longtemps que ne n'ai pas taper en français, un peu de pratique!! ^^;; Je devrais vraiment me mettre a traduire mes foutus fanfics. Bordel que chuis conne. Paresseuse et conne. Je devrais pas faire tant de choses en meme temps. Surtout quand je sais très bien que je suis incapable de mener un projet à terme correctement. Oooh... je pourrais traduire 'L'Incompris'.

rough translation of a french poem of mine...Here goes:


Read more... )

It is very weird in english...O.o

The other day, my mother called me Gary. (Gary=French jerk lover-boy, retired mailman who stole her away from us with his fancy words and sharp political opinions and money ) She always had a hard time with names she'd usually list 'em all until she got the right one. I was often 'Laurie-Richard-Sissi(dog)-Bibi(cat)-Fannie'. I never minded 'Laurie-Richar-Sissi-Bibi'. Somehow 'Gary-Fannie' made me feel the urge to slap her. But then we were on the phone so hey what could I do?

*sigh*

Love meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I'm so fucking patethic.

Feel like drawing. Or writting that sorta NC-17 zoolander slash idea. mmh... slash. Slash should be a ice cream flavour. The senseless 'I WANNA LICK YOU YAOI-KUN' written on the first page of my agenda would make much much much more sense.

I'll stop now. because i have to stop or else i'll spend all night typing non senses.

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Bonne Nuit à tous ceux que j'aime.

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